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Prominent members of the local elvish community have been taken into custody under powers granted by the Oxfordshire Tart and Quiche Regulations (Order) 1927. They are being questioned over the recent disappearance of 7 competition-standard strawberry and 11 blackcurrant jam tarts from the premises of show regular Gwladys Plobber. The tarts in question had been baked as trial pieces by Mrs Plobber. She had set them aside to cool so that she could measure the all-important 'filling viscosity' by which tarts are judged. When she went back to check them, she found they had gone. She called in the police. The only clue police could find was a single strand of golden hair, about 47cm long. This led them to suspect elvish involvement. The elvish community is up in arms. "It wasn't us, " said spokeself, Mr Trevor Redbereth, 1311, "it's those bastard dwarfs. Ever since they saw Lord of the Rings they've been going round taking three strands of hair from the head of any elf they fancy." "Anyway, everyone knows we can't stand jam tarts." |
