On this site

Messages

For some weeks now a section of the village's population have been suffering from larks. These small songbirds, whose demise across much of Britain is greatly lamented, have bucked the trend in our part of the Thames valley. Their success is so great that they are becoming a nuisance.

The skylark may be disappearing across much of Britain, but residents of Clanfield think they have a shrewd idea where they're all ending up.

"At first we were really pleased to have them. We founf their song enchanting and their antics of a summer evening were a joy to behold", local ornithologist Greg Lubber explained. "But now their population has risen beyond the 100,000 mark they are frankly tiresome. It's the ascending that really gets me."

The biggest problem for villagers is the lark's habit of ascending from golden cornfields at the drop of a hat. This tends to catch people unawares. At first it was a problem restricted to the old or infirm - the shock of seeing a flock of larks suddenly ascending before their eyes caused a number of the village's elderly population to have to have a bit of a lie down.

But now the ascending has taken on a more sinister edge. Organised groups of dissafected larks seem to have begun ascending in agressive and threatening ways.

"It's like they're playing chicken with us," says Lubber. "You can be walking across the green on the way to the Tavern and all of a sudden they'll ascend right up between your legs." The problem is so great for the men of Clanfield that the sports shop in nearby Carterton has sold out of criketers' boxes.

Theories about the cause of the problem abound. Local JP Major John 'Buffy' Lebber is representative of a sizeable group of villagers who favour direct action.

Vaughan-Williams may not have been as lark-friendly as they think

"These larks should be sent back where they belong. I know they're not strictly migratory, but that shouldn't stop us. Send them back to Africa," said Lebber last night.

However, other factions are more forgiving and see that it is a problem that can only be addressed through cooperation. Jean Wobber, local Green party candidate, has plans to engage the larks in a dialogue to get to the bottom of their problems. She believes that their antisocial behaviour is symptomatic of the decline in the level of services that have been provided for the lark population locally. By involving the larks in the community and providing activities and training she hopes to make them see the error of their ways.

Which approach is best, only time will tell. Sadly the early response to Ms Wobber's efforts have not been promising. "They maintain that the only human they're willing to negotiate with is Ralph Vaughan-Williams. When we tell them he's passed away, they just get more agressive. The really funny thing is that he had a pet cat called Larkbaiter."

A solution to the problem looks unlikely in the short term.